think positively, people!

sometimes i hate people around me. because they always make me feel that what i do is wrong. yesterday i went to my sister's friend's house and i met this guy. he asked me what course am i taking right now, in university. so i told him i'm taking quantity survey, without hiding it. then his face suddenly changed and advised me to change my course. i wondered why, and so he told me, it's hard to find a job nowadays and especially for quantity surveyor. but to me, even if you take engineering's course but you don't do your best in your study and your result is just so-so, you'll hard to find a job too! and how about people like me, who are just taking a small and humble course like quantity survey, but we do our best and get good result in our study, get into dean's list or whatever, of course a lot of job's offers will come upon us.

that was actually not my first time of facing this kind of situation. almost ALL the time. it's sad you know! before, i told this pakcik about i'm taking quantity survey, then he just quiet. suddenly he told my father that mechanical engineering is better. when i heard it, i was like completely down. because a few days before that, i talked with my two bestfriends about my course. i told them i love mathematics and that's why i choose this course, sort of. but then one of them told me, "did you know now a lot of people are taking that course?". he named a quite number of people. so i was a bit worried. then he added that maybe today quantity surveyors are in demand but how about after i graduated? will it be the same?

after the pakcik told me that i was completely down. i texted my bestfriends but they were not really helping. because they're taking very good courses so of course they have no idea how i really felt. for that night i was crying like mad. and i prayed to God, if what i chose is wrong for my future just let me know and if it's the best way for me just let it be. a few days later i went out with my friends so i told them about my worry. well this is kind of the time when you're really need your friends, right? they told me, even though a lot of people are taking the same course like me right now, but there will be not all of them will end up become a quantity surveyor! suddenly my face shone brightly! it's just the matter of time.

i have a friend who are taking interior design right now. my sister says that it's hard to find a job as a interior designer. because mostly people want to design their interior of their houses by themselves, so interior designers are barely to be hired. but honestly, i never tell my friend about this and i never will. because i've faced this situation and i don't want him to feel the same thing like i did. i want him to just chase his dream to become a interior designer! but people sometimes can be very mean.

i'm aware that my course is not like engineering nor medic. like, when you tell people about you're taking medic, people will envy you and at the same they feel proud of you. and if i tell people about mine, they will just go "heh!" and then ignore me. their face expression is like showing me "oh dear! you're not going to have a successful future or make a lot of money!". please people, don't be like this. this is my plan and my future. i know what am i doing and i'm ready in whatever will happen to me. just wait and see.

i believe in "rezeki manusia berbeza"!

madness.

ohh. i'm feeling very lazy! i'm so hungry but i'm too lazy to walk to the kitchen. too lazy to chew the food. haha! i haven't brushed my teeth and bathed. i woke up at 12 pm because i slept around 5 am. haha! i'm such a piq. okay, enough with the stupid introduction. :

actually i wanted to go out today. but then after i checked my bank account i realised i don't have any money! okay, i have but not enough. my sister always asks me to seek a part time job but i don't want. because i think my play time is more precious and i don't want to waste it. haha. i'm not ready to work yet! okay honestly, i'm such a lazy arse.

now i regret because i spent almost all of my money on nothing. i bought stuff that should not be bought. but i bought something from internet and probably it will arrive on the 12th. i really can't wait. now i think i should make a list of things that i have bought in last two weeks:

let me see. :)

1. foods and drinks. i went to pizza hut, sushi king, starbucks. i think i have bought some snacks, juices, coke and stuff at upwell, emart and supermall.

2. clothes? no. that's not possible. because i'm not really into this kind of hobby, i mean i seldomly buy new clothes. i like to buy electronic devices more than clothes.

2. bags? yeah. i bought a bag for my laptop. i like it although to me the price is quite expensive!

3. i bought cds. expensive gila but i'm satisfied. :)

4. i bought reload cards for my malaysian numbers so they will stay active. i bought for my aussie number too!

5. ohh and i bought a lot of stuff from guardian too. like shampoo and stuff. i spent over rm200 here! omg. now i feel regret. you know, because i can just buy them here anytime when i need. :(

6. stuff.

7. more stuff!

omg! i don't want to think about it anymore. let bygone be bygone! past is past! no no no no. okay okay, bye!



currently listening to: OK! by U-kiss (A korean song!) :)

hello. miss atul is in perth!

i'm in perth now! i arrived at 8ish last night. i was so cold. but now is just perfect. not too cold and not too hot. oh bashir called me just now. first i thought it was a stupid stranger because last time i always received calls from strangers. like a lot! luckily i answered it. when i said hello he suddenly shouted "oii!". haha. he asked me to come over to brisbane. yes, i will, bashir! don't worry. i know how you feel right now. although you have a lot of new friends around, you still want to be with your old friends. :) aww. sweet. basically our old friends know us better. they have seen us and been with us like 26725 years. so they know almost all about us.

two days before my flight i went out with elfera, syafiq, sakinah, ziaty, mai and this guy (i've forgotten his name). it was fun! now i'm here i wonder when will we meet again. but some of my friends didn't know (or maybe they still don't know) that i'm already here. those are my friends who never text or call me. so you know who you are and don't call me "palat". just because i didn't tell you guys before the day i flew away. well i'm not paris hilton nor britney spears to tell everyone the news about me. i'm just an ordinary person who is humble. :) teehee.

i'm so hungry right now. will update more soon! bye bye.

How To Handle Your Psycho Ex Boyfriend?

omg. i really don't know what to do. i feel like i just wanna go and run. he's so annoying. i mean, maybe for other people this thing is kinda sweet. but not to me. you know when your ex boyfriend tries his best to make it up to you. like, buying a bouquet of flowers and stuff. yeah yeah. it's sweet if you still love your ex boyfriend. but in my case, i hate him. i feel like i wanna run away from him. i want to start a new life. i wanna be alone. i want him to leave me alone.

i don't how to handle this. i don't know what should i say to him. he's crazy plus annoying plus irritating. i want my life back! i already told him about what i feel toward him so many times. until i lost hope. i know people i'm the bad one. i'm such a bad person. when a pair breaks up there's always either one from this couple who is bad. start pointing each other. and i know from his friends' point of view, i'm the bad one. so i told my friends about my feelings, luckily they understand me. although very deep in their hearts they think i'm such a jerk.

i'm this kind of person okay. when i have a boyfriend, i want my boyfriend to be my future husband. during our boyfriend-girlfriend time, i find he's not good for my future, i'll try to change him. if there's no hope, i'll forget him. okay, change is a very strong word. but what i mean is, if my boyfriend like to smoke, of course i'll try to stop him from smoking. smoke is very bad for kids, pregnant women and even to yourself. and yeah, i don't want my husband to be a smoker. it's hard, right? i'm so complicated. haha.

summer love.

i can't wait to fall in love with you

you can't wait to fall in love with me

summer love <3

this just can't be summer love, you see

this just can't be summer love

love

that's exactly what i feel right now. i can't wait to fall in love with this guy. haha. i know that sounds weird, strange and not logic? but i don't know. no words can describe it actually. sounds like right now i don't have any feelings toward him. but i can't wait to have that kind of feeling. you know, that feeling. i just can't wait to fall in love with him. confuse? yes i know.

love is so unpredictable and stupid. but love is so special and unique and lovely and and and etc. omgosh why am i like this? so boring. haha. but deep in heart i feel a bit sad. because i will be leaving kuching soon, very soon. good bye my six months+ holidays. good bye laksa sarawak. good bye museums. good bye my love. this so summer love.

even a small step can change the world

okay. i was this close.
only just one small step.
very small. very tiny.
omgosh what happened to me?
no it was not my fault. not us and not them.
it was our fate. my fate.
sometimes we plan and predict but it's out of our power to make everything works out.
i believe in fate. i believe in us. and i believe in god.
i was so frustrated. no, i'm still now.
my heart is in pain and wants to cry but my brain wouldn't allow it.
but i know and i believe everything happens for a reason.
i wish i know what's the reason, right now.
i wish i know what, why, how everything works out.
i tried to think positive but i could only think the negatives.
just pray everything is gonna be okay.
may Allah bless me and you.

what a friend.

last monday (i'm not very sure) my friend called me. i think it was around 4 pm. she told me her car was broke down and was there anything i could do to help her. i said no because i was with my mother at someone's house. plus i only know a few about cars. so what's the point if i go right. haha. then around 6 pm she called me again. she asked me to pick her up at the spring. luckily i just came back from that someone's house. so i just drove to the spring and when i arrived she was with her boyfriend. then a myvi came and parked next to her car. 3 boys off the car and discussed something with them. my friend told me this didi would come and bring jumper (?) to start her car. then i suddenly thought, what am i doing here. if you already asked for help from someone and why'd you ask from me too? are you kidding me?

i was a good friend that was the only reason why i came that day. i was still a good friend until last wednesday. i texted her asking where was she. so we could hang out together. it was 2 pm and i supposed to go at 4.30 pm to fetch my sister up. she asked me to come at perodua service centre. so i drove there. that time i thought maybe i could accompany her. wtf. she had her boyfriend with her why should i come. i know i was so stupid.

i arrived at perodua and she suddenly approached me so urgently and asked for rm15 from me. wtf. i was so stupid and i lend my rm14 to her. i totally forgot that was my mother's money and i should return it to her. but i was so stupid that i thought she would return it back to me tomorrow. so i was with her and her boyfriend until 4.30 pm. my car was almost out of gas. just because she was using my money i couldn't fill up the tank. stupid me.

so that night i texted her. i politely asked her to return the money tomorrow. rm14 is nothing, i know. but that was my mom's, okay. i know my mom wouldn't be angry if i didn't return the money to her. but she's my mom okay. you know what i mean. so she said yes, insya Allah. done.

the next day i texted her about the money but she didn't reply. few hours later i texted her again. no answer. then around 5 or 6 pm she texted me and said sorry she couldn't pay back and she promised she will give it to me tomorrow. so i said okay. until now i'm still waiting where the hell is she.

so people if you know you don't afford to pay back on time, please don't owe someone. my beloved friend, if you happen to read this please give me back my money.